The holidays that mark the calendar this time of year are not quite as happy for some as they are for others, according to at least one local mental health professional.
While most appear to be content and satisfied with gluttony, the fellowship of family and friends, and the exchanging of gifts with one another, some cannot help but languish in the inadequacy of the present compared to holidays past, the stress of gift buying and the painful loss of family members and spouses — both alive and dead.
The “holiday blues” is what Hamlet Smith informally calls the condition. It “is a general way people talk about the extra stress and sadness around the season from Thanksgiving to New Year’s (Day),” said Smith, a therapist at Life Strategies Counseling Services in Beckley.
“When we think of the Christmas season, we imagine our families gathered around the table in a Norman Rockwell picturesque painting. While it is satisfying for some to be around family, others may be focused on a family member missing due to death or conflict.”
Smith said the season can often be a troubling time for some. “People grieve more acutely the loss of loved ones this time of year. It is normal to grieve. You should be sad when you cannot be around those you love,” he conceded.
In other situations, Smith observed, destructively negative relationships can have a way of bringing people down, both emotionally and psychologically.
Smith cautioned that “the blues” can easily turn into a potentially destructive condition known as clinical depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 19 million American adults suffer from depressive illnesses every year.
Additionally, the World Health Organization estimates that mental illness, including suicide, accounts for over 15 percent of the burden of disease in established market economies, such as the United States.
“This is more than the disease burden caused by all cancers. We often fail to understand the impact of mental health on even our economy. Unfortunately, many people with clinical depression don’t seek help, even though many people are able to resolve depression through counseling,” Smith lamented.
He also does not discount the diminished hours of sunlight this time of year as a factor in greater feelings of melancholy. The “darkest” day of the year occurred just last Sunday.
“Sunlight has multiple health benefits, including helping us regulate our sleep and mood,” Smith explained.
“As a result, we often eat and sleep slightly more in wintertime and dislike the dark mornings and short days. While this is a mild annoyance to some, it can be more severe to others when it causes depression. These people may be suffering from seasonal affective disorder.”
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Smith offers his services for those who, despite their best efforts, cannot seem to successfully extricate themselves from their emotional abyss.
“Get help from a trusted source. Don’t try to tough it out alone. Go to the wisest and most trusted people in your life to help weigh your treatment options,” he emphasized.
For more information, contact Smith at 304-255-7526 or visit the Life Strategies Counseling Services Web site at www.lifestrat.com.
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Tips to remain upbeat during holidays
Hamlet Smith of Life Strategies Counseling Services in Beckley offers what he calls “the 12 Suggestions of Christmas” to help you remain sane and upbeat this holiday season:
- Stay within your budget. “The good feeling that comes from buying things for others lasts a short time. Stress from not being able to pay your bills lasts a lot longer.”
- Invest your time in things that last. “Doing something for someone else is the single best way to get the focus off your own anxieties and disappointments.”
- Don’t skip sleep to do more. “If you skip sleep on a regular basis, you will be more depressed and anxious.”
- Realize you are not the only one with a dysfunctional family. “Many people, including God’s prophets (like Hosea), have less than ideal relationships.”
- Set your boundaries before you go into a difficult situation. “For example, if the way people talk to me becomes abusive or their behavior gets out of hand, I am going to quietly leave.”
- It’s OK to feel sad. “Many things in this world are not right. We are going to be sad for the pain of others if nothing else.”
- Focus on what you do have, instead of what you don’t. “Thanksgiving can chase away overcast moods.”
- Remember that alcohol is a depressant. “If you overindulge, then you will be more depressed.”
- Perfection is a set-up. “If you are demanding from yourself that perfect dinner or party, then you are setting yourself up for a crash. Settle for a good party.”
- Spend time with supportive and caring people. “Some of us don’t have this in our families, so we need to be aggressive about being around somebody that will give us this.”
- Resist the urge to define Christmas by what you received materially. “Don’t say, ‘How was your Christmas,’ and mean, ‘What cool stuff did you get?’”
- Accept advice about your life only from wise people. “Don’t let people who are wrecking their relationships give you advice about yours.”
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Clinical Depression symptoms
Sometimes a long-term emotional challenge transcends a mere holiday-based funk. Hamlet Smith of Life Strategies Counseling Services in Beckley urges everyone to watch out for the following symptoms since they could be indicative of clinical depression:
- Persistent sad, anxious or “empty” mood.
- Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism.
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness or helplessness.
- Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed.
- Decreased energy, fatigue and being “slowed down.”
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering and making decisions.
- Insomnia, early-morning awakening or oversleeping.
- Loss of appetite or weight loss.
- Binge eating or weight gain.
- Restlessness or irritability.
- Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders and chronic pain.
- Thoughts of death or thoughts of suicide.
“Experiencing five or more of these more often than not over a two-week period may indicate a serious problem with depression. Two or more of these symptoms over a long period of time may also indicate a problem,” Smith said.
“Thoughts of suicide are always seen as a clinically significant symptom even if no other symptom is present. People who are thinking about suicide should seek immediate professional treatment.”
