The Register-Herald, Beckley, West Virginia

Local News

December 21, 2013

Fox news host proclaims white Christmas, no matter what

I felt foolish walking through the middle of campus while carrying a trash can. Then I saw the white-bearded guy in an elf costume that featured leggings, shoes that curl up at the toes and a jingling bell dangling from his stocking cap.

“Hey elf!” I yelled. He looked up.

“I felt pretty self-conscious carrying this trash can across campus — until I saw you,” I said.

“It’s the worst gig I’ve ever had in my life,” he answered as the bell from his cap jingled an accompaniment.

‘Tis the season for foolishness, it seems, when a bit of the dipsy doodle — as Otis Campbell from “The Andy Griffith Show” described it — hits all of us.

Perhaps the dipsy doodliest this season comes from Fox news host Megyn Kelly, who proclaimed once and for all, now and forever, to infinity and beyond that Santa and Jesus are white, always have been, always will be.

Now that that’s settled, we can get back to world hunger, human trafficking, malaria and all those other little pesky problems that seem to take a backseat when Miley Cyrus debuts another skimpy outfit.

Kelly’s pronouncement leaves one to believe that Fox sponsored a job booth at an Aryan Nation gathering. She’s about as white and blond as they come. Or maybe Rupert Murdoch plucked her from a store window display.

Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with white blondes. As one, I’m kind of partial to them myself.

What rankles my sensitivity is a notion that if she is white, the whole world must be, too.

Kelly’s comments came during discussion about a black woman who wrote that she felt disadvantaged because Santa was always white. She wanted a black Santa.

I’ve seen pictorial representations of black Santas. According to tradition, he loves all good little boys and girls whoever and wherever they are so Santa could be any race or ethnic group.

Yet, tradition and history are on Kelly’s side. Most of what we think of regarding Santa Claus, Father Christmas, St. Nicholas, Pere Noel comes from western Europe. That’s where Santa got his start, so to speak, and those countries were historically settled by pretty pale people.

But since I’ve never seen the real Santa, I can’t say definitively that he is Caucasian. I always make sure I’m tucked into bed before he arrives so I’ll get my presents.

In the spirit of peace and good will to men and blond women, I’ll give Kelly her white Santa with the above disclaimers.

However, I beg to differ on her unequivocal assumption that Jesus is white. Note the present-tense verb. As a good little girl, I believe he is still alive though no longer walking on earth in human form.

He was born to a Jewish girl. That’s why I doubt he was white on earth. The Bible says he had no comely form nor was especially noteworthy in his looks. If he was the lone white guy in a country full of Jewish people, he would have stood out. In his role as judge of the universe, the Bible says he is radiant white from his glory, not his skin tone.

A lot of Nativity sets show Mary as a white girl. In some she’s a blonde. The Jews have a term for that — shiksa.

Kelly probably believes Jesus looks like his daddy, which would make God white. If God isn’t white, some segregationalists will no doubt ask St. Peter to stamp their eternal passports for hell.

The bottom line is it doesn’t matter whether Santa and Jesus are white so long as they just ARE. I am a little worried about Kelly, though. Next thing you know, she’ll be telling us that Rudolph’s red nose is really — wait for it — white.

— Young is a Register-Herald columnist.


© 2013 by Nerissa Young

Text Only
Local News
  • Human remains found near White Sulphur Springs

    Law enforcement officials are investigating human remains discovered by a local resident near White Sulphur Springs on Friday afternoon, according to Greenbrier County Sheriff Jan Cahill.

    April 20, 2014

  • knine Beckley officer and K-9 partner Ciro win award from WVPCA

    They say every dog has his day, but a local pooch and his handler have had about 365 days of success.
    Cpl. Jamie Blume of the Beckley Police Department and his K-9 partner Ciro have won the 2013-2014 Officer and K-9 of the Year award from the WVPCA, according to a press release from the Beckley Police Department.

    April 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Shooting at Quality Inn injures one

    A shooting took place at the Quality Inn in Beckley on Friday night, according to Raleigh County dispatchers.

    April 20, 2014

  • Area 911 dispatchers report several fires

    Fire departments from all over Raleigh County and its surrounding areas dealt with fires Friday night, according to dispatchers.

    April 20, 2014

  • High court overturns Raleigh ruling

    An audio recording between a confidential informant and a Beckley attorney accused of selling cocaine will now be allowed into evidence, according to a West Virginia Supreme Court of Appeals ruling.

    April 20, 2014

  • Calendar — Sunday, April 20, 2014

    April 20, 2014

  • State agency announces new WIC income guidelines

    The West Virginia Department of Health and Human Resources Office of Nutrition Services has reported new U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) income eligibility guidelines for the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children (WIC).

    April 20, 2014

  • mthope Good Friday scene

    April 19, 2014 1 Photo

  • Service workers want voice in choice in Raleigh County Schools superintendent hiring

    The president of the Raleigh County School Service Personnel Association has asked Raleigh County Board of Education members to choose a school superintendent who will hear the concerns of service workers in the school system and involve them in the decision-making process.

    April 19, 2014

  • Two internal candidates will interview for superintendent position Monday

    Two current administrators at Raleigh County Schools will be interviewed for the position of superintendent Monday, Raleigh Board of Education members verified Friday.
    Raleigh Schools Director of Secondary Education Miller Hall and Raleigh Schools Assistant Superintendent David Price were chosen from a pool of six applicants, BOE members said.

    April 19, 2014