The Register-Herald, Beckley, West Virginia

Life!

December 4, 2009

Reality is often better than what we might dream

Inside Out

By Bev Davis

It was probably the ugliest dress I’ve ever seen, but I’ve never been so grateful to receive a gift of clothing. The lime green wool dress with long sleeves would be warm and practical. I carefully folded it and stacked it on top of the blanket and a small bag of toiletries. I tightly gripped the plastic identification card, not wanting it to slide off.

“Whatever you do, don’t misplace this card,” the coordinator of the homeless shelter told me. “It will entitle you to meals, food stamps and everything else you can receive while you’re here.”

I placed the items under a cot. I’ve never slept in a room with that many people before, but I wouldn’t be out on the street. I was so grateful I had a place to stay.

All the events took place in a dream I had one night this week. I don’t know what circumstances had brought me to total dependence on the goodness of others. My first memory was the kind face of the woman holding up the ugly green dress and feeling too overcome with emotion to do more than mouth a “thank you so much.”

I have no idea what triggered my subconscious mind to unfold the dramatic scenes before me and to cause me to feel such depths of emotion. Maybe it was a whining session I’d had with a friend a few days before. My health care insurance had gone up, along with deductibles and out-of-pocket expenses. There will be less money next year. Several expensive home projects loom on the horizon.

So I whined, or vented, as I choose to call it.

Even before I got off the phone I felt so guilty. The furnace was running, and my home was warm and cozy. I had cabinets and a refrigerator full of food, a closet bulging with clothes and shoes, and I had just purchased a new winter coat last week.

Despite the fact we’ve just celebrated Thanksgiving, I hadn’t been exactly glowing with gratitude.

I seldom dream, and when I do, I don’t remember much. This dream, however, still remains vividly etched in my mind. I can remember details about the rooms. I can see the identification card, the kitchen and the well- worn pots, pans and dishes I washed. Every little thing I was given or allowed to use was so precious to me. It may be the first time I’ve really experienced what gratitude feels like.

It’s changed everything for me this week. I’ve spontaneously thanked God for everything from the hot water running in the shower to my very own coffee maker, dishes, kitchen appliances and a car and a job.

I realize how much I’ve taken for granted and how much of an entitlement mentality I’ve had. It took a dream to wake me up to the reality that I am richly blessed. And I am truly thankful.

— E-mail: bdavis@register-herald.com

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