The Register-Herald, Beckley, West Virginia

Life!

October 16, 2009

Could you win a prize for peace-making?

Inside Out column

By Bev Davis

All the flap about the Nobel peace prize got me to thinking about whether other people would consider me a peacemaker.

When I walk away from a conversation or hang up the phone, have I left behind a cloud of controversy and criticism? Did I stir up anger and resentment, or did I do what I could to divert angry comments and spiteful attitudes?

What about you? Would your peers ever nominate you as a poster child for trying to bring peace into the world around you, or are you always the instigator of hateful comments and inflammatory remarks?

Can you listen to someone’s political views, moral stance or religious ideas without launching a barrage of assaults against other people?

Have you learned to debate an issue without having to tear down others who have different views?

Most of the time, when we are discussing strong views about religion or politics, what we are really trying to do is convince the other person we are right. It’s a bid for power. Most of the time, we don’t have the other person’s best interests at heart. We’re not trying to help them grow or mature in their faith or even to see another perspective of a political viewpoint. We’re just trying to exert power over the way they think.

Whatever the reason, there’s just not a whole lot of kindness in our conversations any more. Without kindness and consideration, the door is wide open for conflict and unrest.

We’ve all been advised at one time or another to think before we speak. I think we need to learn to love before we speak.

We need to love the person to whom we’re speaking enough to avoid treating them like a garbage can. I learned that the hard way once when I had spoken ugly things about one person to another. The woman to whom I was speaking was honest enough to tell me she felt like I had just “thrown up all over her.” It was a good lesson for me, and it has kept many a negative word from coming out of my mouth ever since.

We also need to love the people about whom we are speaking. Whether it’s a political figure or the person next door, we need to love them as God has told us to love. If we think they’re wrong about something, we need to pray for God’s enlightenment in their souls. If we hate the color of their skin or their religion or political party, we need to pray earnestly for God’s enlightenment in our own souls.

Framing our conversations on a foundation of love and respect is one of the best ways I know of to bring peace into our sphere of influence.

Whether I ever win a prize for it, I want to be known as a person who makes peace.

— E-mail: bdavis@register-herald.com

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