The Register-Herald, Beckley, West Virginia

June 26, 2009

Marriage through the eyes of children

Inside Out

By Bev Davis

With the month of June nearly history, lots of new brides and grooms have walked the aisle leading to holy matrimony.

The long-married and newlyweds alike should get a chuckle and maybe a little wisdom from this e-mail making its rounds. The source is unknown, and it’s hard to say if kids really came up with these pearls of wisdom, but they make for some good reading.

Q. How do you decide whom to marry?

A. You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dips coming. — Alan, age 10

Q. What is the right age to get married?

A. Twenty-three is the best age, because you know the person forever by then. — Camille, age 10

Q. How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

A. You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. — Derrick, age 8

Q. What do you think your parents have most in common?

A. They both don’t want any more kids. — Lori, age 8

Q. What do most people do on a date?

A. Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say, if you listen long enough. — Lynnette, age 8

A. On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough in each other to go on a second date. — Martin, age 10

Q. When is it OK to kiss someone?

A. When they’re rich. — Pam, age 7

A. The law says you have to be 18, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. — Curt, age 7

A. The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. — Howard, age 8

Q. Is it better to be single or married?

A. It’s better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. — Anita, age 9

Q. How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?

A. There sure would be a lot of kids to explain. — Kelvin, age 8

Q. How would you make a marriage work?

A. Tell your wife she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. — Ricky, age 10

Wow! Don’t you wish you’d had the benefit of all this knowledge before you tied the knot?

Seriously, if you’re newlyweds, congratulations! If you’ve celebrated more than one anniversary together, God bless you. If you’ve been married more than 50 years and you’re still happy together, thank you for setting the example for the rest of us. You’ve obviously developed lots of patience, tolerance and dedication to a common goal — unconditional love.

Married or single, we should all pursue that one.

— E-mail: bdavis@register-herald.com