The Register-Herald, Beckley, West Virginia

Life!

September 19, 2008

Let a little ‘faith humor’ cheer you up today

Inside Out

By Bev Davis

During a Bible study group this week, a lady shared the following story about a youngster she knew. The little girl’s mother had just read her Psalm 23. Hoping to see how much the child had understood, the mom asked, “What did you learn from that?” To which the little girl replied, “We’re supposed to lie down, be quiet and listen to our pastors.”

I typed up the little quip, and as I was putting it into my files, I came across a collection of children’s prayers I’ve squirreled away. I found myself chuckling and decided you might enjoy them as well.

n One night Mike’s parents overheard this prayer. “Now I lay me down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow’s test, if I should die before I wake, that’s one less test I have to take.”

n A little boy’s prayer: “Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, and by the way, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we’re all gonna be in a big mess.”

n Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. “Fine,” the pleased mother said. “If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.” “Oh, I didn’t ask Him to help me not misbehave,” Johnny said. “I asked Him to help you put up with me.”

n A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if You can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a really good time like I am!”

n One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was “acting up” during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”

n And this particular 4-year-old prayed: “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

My friend Frances Blackshire sent me a little clipping from what she calls her “happy book,” a collection of funny stories and humorous one-liners.

“We have a graveyard on our property here in Sandlick. On one tombstone is the following poem: ‘As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so you will be, so prepare yourself to follow me.’ My late Uncle Glen Williams was a jokester, and he told me they should have added this: ‘Before give you my consent, I need to know which way you went.’”

— E-mail: bdavis@register-herald.com

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