The Register-Herald, Beckley, West Virginia


February 6, 2013

Hard hearts

When love is a battlefield, avoid unfair warfare

Just what are those arrows in your Cupid’s quiver made of? Recreational foam or carbon composite? According to Families and Health Program Agent Terrill Peck, it depends on the target’s interpretation.

Peck has a warning for those who take her Love Languages classes: you’ll not only be smarter about love, but smart like a fox if you’re so inclined. Knowledge is power to be used for good or evil, the enthusiastic instructor reminds, influencing her students to avoid using facts about their partner’s inner-workings against them.

   “Some people think knowing their significant other’s love language, how he or she both gives and receives love, is manipulative. It can be — it’s a very manipulative system if you use it as a weapon.”

Peck is referring to is the book that acts as the basis for her free WVU Extension Service classes to couples, “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, the New York Times bestseller that has become a self-help and relationships genre standard.

The book and Peck’s class teach couples how to correctly identify one another’s love language, assuming most fall into five different categories, named according to the unique currency each gives and wishes to receive in relationships: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time and Gifts.

Peck contends that it isn’t enough to simply speak the love languages, but to abstain from abusing the language when emotions run high.

In disagreements, couples may not realize when they are pushing the equivalent of their S/O’s nuclear detonator. Awareness of unfair fighting can allow room for anger without going for the throat.

“It isn’t that you can’t get mad when something happens. You don’t have to be all lovey-dovey and kissy-faced, but put down your weapons. If you use something sacred against another person, that becomes a trust issue.”


Text Only
  • bob thompson The jazz man

    If Bob Thompson’s 30-year career as a professional musician has taught him anything, it’s that there are really only two kinds of music.


    July 27, 2014 1 Photo

  • Leave a good legacy, and respect others’

    The death this week of the Rev. Jerry Falwell led to a network and cable blitz of commentaries on his life. We’ve been bombarded with a flurry of eulogies, criticisms, apathetic shrugs and lots of news footage regarding Falwell’s faith and foibles.


    July 26, 2014

  • 072314 Life CrossFit 4.jpg Crossfit Nation: Working out the WOD way

    Just as fashion trends come and go, so do fitness fads, and Cyndie Chinn had tried them all.

    July 23, 2014 3 Photos

  • downsize 1 Living large in smaller spaces

    How is it possible that as your nest gets emptier, your garage gets fuller? Living off the grid sounds tantalizing — the extreme version of paring down. But are you ready for solar panels and growing your own groceries or would a smaller home do the trick?

    July 20, 2014 3 Photos

  • Relishing the faith of little children

    July 19, 2014

  • Guns 1 ‘Guns’ for Life

    With the latest World Health Organization figures showing global life expectancy increasing from 64 years in 1990 to 70 years in 2011, staying healthy enough to add quality to the quantity of life is an important consideration.

    July 16, 2014 3 Photos

  • coconut 4 Crack open the power of the coconut

    Now let’s get this straight …
      We know about Parrotheads. And Cheeseheads. But when did Coconut Heads become cool?
    Move over, argan — you are so last season. Another exotic oil is taking lead role in everything from shampoo to weight-loss supplements. That cast-iron skillet seasoning, stretch-mark banishing essence of the hour is — coconut oil.

    July 13, 2014 2 Photos

  • Free summer serenade concert to be held

    Aurora Celtic, sponsored by Ivy & Stone, presents the free Summer Serenade concert Saturday at 6 p.m. on the Brown House lawn in Summersville.

    July 13, 2014

  • WVU Extension: Healthy summer eating tips for all occasions

    Summer and early fall are the times of year for family reunions, potluck picnics, pool parties and various other celebrations where we like to share food.

    July 13, 2014

  • new BAF fund Endowment still helping students attend college

    The “Beckley College, College of West Virginia, Mountain State University and University of Charleston-Beckley Alumni Association Fund” has the distinction of having the longest name of any of the 400 permanent endowments managed by the Beckley Area Foundation.

    July 13, 2014 1 Photo