The Register-Herald, Beckley, West Virginia

Breaking News


June 13, 2010

Keeping marriage alive after the honeymoon

— June is the time for love.

And strong marriages come from couples who are willing to risk falling in love, willing to risk facing their disappointments and willing to resolve conflicts.

But somewhere in the back of your mind, during all of your June wedding preparations, you’ve probably been wondering how to keep the passion, excitement and attraction alive in your relationship after the honeymoon is over.

According to some Internet sources and counseling services, there are at least six ways to deepen your passion and keep your relationship thriving and flourishing after the honeymoon:

 Consciously communicate what is most important to you — both in your relationship and your life. Schedule a time each day, even if it’s only 15 minutes, to turn off the TV, sit close and make eye contact with each other. Take turns talking about your desires and expectations.

 Understand, embrace and learn from your differences. Talk about these differences and share things that are important to you. Remember to listen with an open heart and not judge. Turn your attention to appreciating one another’s gifts.

 Leave all the stuff from previous relationships with those old relationships. Learn how to help each other heal emotional wounds. In other words, be a friend to each other.

 Don’t run away when things get tough. Keep talking until you resolve your differences in an amicable way. Tell each other how you are feeling without finger-pointing.

 Make conscious agreements with your partner. Take an inventory of what you want and be honest with each other. These agreements build trust in your relationship.

 Treat each day as if it were your last together. Practice using loving words instead of critical ones with each other and express your gratitude for that person being in your life. Choose to love each other with thoughts, actions and words and you will see a positive difference in your relationship.

After all, nobody said that married life is easy. Some would even say that it is the toughest human arrangement ever conceived.

And like most things of value, marital happiness is earned, mostly through hard work and self-sacrifice.

Few would argue that there is value to giving more than you receive, that there is value in placing marriage above one's individual wants or wishes.

At the same time, it’s both wonderful and difficult to risk falling in love, and it’s also very hard to face the disappointments of our idealizations. However, moving through conflicts and finding resolution as a couple (and a clearer personal identity as an individual) is the gateway to real intimacy and happiness.

Perhaps the key is to create a respect for and celebration of differences-after all, differences are what attract us in the first place.

Text Only
  • life dr Wellness Wednesday: Adding an ‘I’ to TEAM

    Erica Tuckwiller is pediatrician with a deep-seated passion for changing the course of the childhood obesity epidemic.

    “As a physician, good nutrition is one of the biggest challenges I face in the care of our children and I actually have been involved in the fight against childhood obesity beginning with my senior thesis early in my college career at WVU,” she stated.


    July 30, 2014 1 Photo

  • bob thompson The jazz man

    If Bob Thompson’s 30-year career as a professional musician has taught him anything, it’s that there are really only two kinds of music.


    July 27, 2014 1 Photo

  • Leave a good legacy, and respect others’

    The death this week of the Rev. Jerry Falwell led to a network and cable blitz of commentaries on his life. We’ve been bombarded with a flurry of eulogies, criticisms, apathetic shrugs and lots of news footage regarding Falwell’s faith and foibles.


    July 26, 2014

  • 072314 Life CrossFit 4.jpg Crossfit Nation: Working out the WOD way

    Just as fashion trends come and go, so do fitness fads, and Cyndie Chinn had tried them all.

    July 23, 2014 3 Photos

  • downsize 1 Living large in smaller spaces

    How is it possible that as your nest gets emptier, your garage gets fuller? Living off the grid sounds tantalizing — the extreme version of paring down. But are you ready for solar panels and growing your own groceries or would a smaller home do the trick?

    July 20, 2014 3 Photos

  • Relishing the faith of little children

    July 19, 2014

  • Guns 1 ‘Guns’ for Life

    With the latest World Health Organization figures showing global life expectancy increasing from 64 years in 1990 to 70 years in 2011, staying healthy enough to add quality to the quantity of life is an important consideration.

    July 16, 2014 3 Photos

  • coconut 4 Crack open the power of the coconut

    Now let’s get this straight …
      We know about Parrotheads. And Cheeseheads. But when did Coconut Heads become cool?
    Move over, argan — you are so last season. Another exotic oil is taking lead role in everything from shampoo to weight-loss supplements. That cast-iron skillet seasoning, stretch-mark banishing essence of the hour is — coconut oil.

    July 13, 2014 2 Photos

  • Free summer serenade concert to be held

    Aurora Celtic, sponsored by Ivy & Stone, presents the free Summer Serenade concert Saturday at 6 p.m. on the Brown House lawn in Summersville.

    July 13, 2014

  • WVU Extension: Healthy summer eating tips for all occasions

    Summer and early fall are the times of year for family reunions, potluck picnics, pool parties and various other celebrations where we like to share food.

    July 13, 2014