Published: August 10, 2008 08:39 pm         

Have you been to the State Fair yet? Well, why not?

This Side of the Fence column

Once a year, I lose control over any form of modesty I may have and there’s only one reason why.

Yes, the 2008 State Fair of West Virginia is now in full swing and if you haven’t taken in the state’s biggest garden party in a while, I resoundingly urge you to do so. You won’t regret it.

I do not apologize for the unbiased approach I take when it comes to attending our state fair. I can’t help it.

Some of my earliest memories come from the sights and sounds of searching for larger-than-life hogs and tugging on my mother’s shirt until she gave in to my repeated requests for a third helping of cotton candy.

Being able to relive the days of my mother consoling me as I crashed from my sugary high are priceless, and they easily come to mind when retracing the same steps I took with her down the same midway past the same carnival stands nearly 40 years ago.

If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m a “people person” — I’m not exactly sure what that means, but hopefully you get the point — and the state fair is perfect for anyone who wants to be around about a quarter of a million of our own species, plus a few who may or may not fit into any one particular category.

Now granted, there are a few misguided souls in Greenbrier County who complain about the increase in traffic that’s caused by the fair — I don’t hear them complaining about the nearly $9 million economic impact on the county — but I take the traffic in stride and look at it as a mere inconvenience for having the privilege of the state fair being in my backyard.

Plus, some people aren’t happy unless they’re complaining about something — are you one of them? — and traffic jams are highly sought after for those who like to spew negativity 24/7 out of the pie holes. Think about it.

But who can complain when given the chance to see Merle Haggard or Garrison Keillor perform live? Please complain a little about watching dogs jump off a dock 20 feet into the water. If you need more to complain about, go over and watch the sea lions perform. It’s been scientifically proven that watching sea lions will produce laughter and promotes human beings to smile.

Check out the West Virginia Building and the Cecil Underwood building for all things West Virginia and don’t forget about the lawnmower races on the last day of the fair.

There’s not enough space in this column to write about the hundreds of different things to see and do at the fair, so jump in the car and see for yourself. The gas will cost a heck of a lot less than the drive to Myrtle Beach you wanted to take.

The fair also welcomes back one of the oldest carnival amusement ride companies in the world — Reithoffer Shows. The Reithoffers started in 1896 with the purchase of a steam-driven carousel and the family-run outfit — a fifth generation of Reithoffers are already in training — directs one of the safest, if not the safest, traveling carnival shows in the business.

As a free consumer safety tip for my beloved readers, I personally inspected each of the children’s rides at the state fair on Friday. As a precautionary measure, I rode each and every one of them to ensure that future beloved readers of this column would be able to enjoy the state fair as much as I do.

I would like to once again reiterate my apologies to the State Police and tell them I was unaware that there were maximum height requirements for these rides, such as “Wheelie Cycles” — please see enclosed photo — and I also want to apologize to the second-grader who started crying when I cut in front of him while standing in line. That was not done on purpose. I was just in a hurry to get back to the office.

I can assure the public that the children’s rides at the state fair are not only great fun, but very, very safe. So let your kids ride the Bear Affair, Dizzy Dragon, Choo Choo Train, Wacky World Maze, Beja Buggy, and all the other fun rides for kids.

If the State Police are not checking the height requirements for adults, you too might be able to enjoy them along with your kids.

So come one and come all to the West Virginia State Fair. I will see you at the doughnut stand. Carpe Diem, everybody; have a great week.

— Christian lives in Greenbrier County and likes the throwing games at the fair. E-mail: cgiggenbach@register-herald.com