Published: May 11, 2008 08:22 pm         

I’m Christian Giggenbach, and I approve this column

This Side of the Fence column

It’s time for another Register-Herald columnist and beloved reader interactive experiment, so kindly put aside your coffee and double-cheese danish for a moment and please follow these explicit directions.

Warning: Do not attempt the following columnist/beloved reader interactive experiment if you are currently driving or operating a Xerox machine at high speeds.

Step one: Take your right hand and cup it behind your right ear in such a manner that helps the amplification of sounds. Do not worry about looking silly — for now.

Step two: Keeping your hand firmly behind your ear, go to the nearest window or door; cock your head to the side; and listen to the outside world just like the Green Bank radio telescopes. Do not pay attention to anyone — co-workers or bosses — who may or may not be mocking you. Tell them you are helping me.

Step three: Listen very intently for approximately 34 seconds.

Those collective sighs of relief that you can metaphorically hear chiming across the hills and valleys of southern West Virginia are from everyday folk who realize there’s only one day left until our state’s Democratic and Republican primaries.

After tomorrow, we can bid a fond farewell to the endless television ads, say goodbye to the worn-out slogans, and hopefully catch a quick glimpse of our favorite candidates on our country roads as they stop to retrieve their election signs.

You may now remove your Green Bank telescope from your ear and resume eating your double-cheese danish.

Although some may prefer root canal treatments over the prospect of having a candid discussion about politics, I believe the Mountain State’s 2008 primary season will be a memorable one for several reasons. For the most part — and I reserve the right to be corrected — it appears many candidates took the high road in regard to negative campaigning.

In Greenbrier County, I didn’t see very many negative ads, but many of the candidates did complain of “whisper campaigns” being run by their opponents. Out of the limited number of TV spots I saw for local and statewide candidates, there seemed to be a decline in negative ads too.

Could the politicians actually be listening to how much the electorate despises negative campaigning? Let’s hope so.

The 2008 primary season will also be remembered for the invasion of the Clinton and Obama campaigns into our state. As a reporter, watching the political machinery of both presidential campaigns at full-steam was fascinating. Behind the scenes, reporters and editors are being bombarded with press releases from both sides — sometimes as many as six or seven per day — each spinning the issues for their candidate.

And it takes a lot of coin to keep those political steam engines running. The Web site OpenSecrets.org, which tracks the finances of candidates, reports the Barack Obama campaign has raised $235 million and the Hillary Clinton campaign has raised $185 million to date. John McCain’s campaign has raised about $76 million.

The Web site estimates the eventual nominees will need to raise about $500 million each “in order to be competitive.” And that doesn’t count all the other money raised by candidates who have already dropped out. Mitt Romney, for instance, raised over $100 million in his losing bid, although he did finance much of it himself.

At face value, it seems to be a bit disingenuous for candidates to espouse how they could fix our nation’s health care, or the economy, or whatever issue they are stumping on, when they are actually spending more money on ads than it would take to solve the problem at hand. Think about it.

But most unnerving for me is the disclaimer used by national politicians in their ads. You know, the one that says: “I’m the candidate and I approve this message.” Uh ... duh? I’m listening and watching the words come right out of your mouth. I feel like I’m being talked to like a first-grader.

Why the disclaimer? The “Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act” of 2002 mandated that federal office seekers must use those words in their ads. It was an attempt to hold federal office seekers responsible for the content of their negative ads. In theory, that sounds good, but in reality it gets on my nerves.

A true political disclaimer should sound more like the ending of a drug company’s ad or a sweepstakes’ commercial. I’d enjoy hearing any politician explain very quickly all the negative side effects to voting for him or her. In fact, the disclaimers would be so long that there would be no time left to hear anything else. Now that should be a federal law.

Go out and vote tomorrow for your favorite candidates. I’ll see ya at the polls. Carpe Diem, everybody. Have a great week.

— Christian lives in Greenbrier County. E-mail: cgiggenbach@register-herald.com